Editor on the Run, Part II
by Raymond M. Coulombe
Read Part I here, Read Part III here, Read Part IV here

A Wandering Dervish feels no compulsion to explain his travels. I am such a Dervish.

But here are some random travel notes.

We had a late start. Hey, even Napoleon had a hard time getting the army on the road in a timely manner. We had other battles to fight. The house needed to be winterized: plumbing drained, antifreeze poured in drains, and the power shut down. Even after we left the house, we cooled our heels at town hall, waiting to fill in our absentee ballots. Yes, dear readers, us Quantum Musers vote. Scary, isn't it?

We may have left too late. Campgrounds were closing one step ahead of our travels. With Woodalls Camping Directory and cell phone in hand, we searched out the late season campsites.

Central Pennsylvania is bleak during an early season snowstorm. Cars and trucks spun off the road. It had been a long while since we saw the last gas station. Our fuel ran low, too low. With wet snow plastering my face, I emptied both camp stoves and a white gas bottle into the tank. It was enough, we found an open station.

It became apparent to me that setting up a tent in the middle of a snowstorm, in the middle of the night, would not be a good way to introduce my lovely wife to the joys of travel. We were nearly out of cash, exhausted, wet and cold.

I spied a sign for a Comfort Inn. They accepted dogs. . . and our credit card. Before long, we were warm, clean, and dining in the inn's restaurant. Better yet, we were able to help a fellow traveler. She had no credit card on her, so we let her use ours. Life is too short to worry about money. We are all traveling the road of life together. For the sake of those keeping track of such things, she did pay us back.

Just outside of Pittsburgh PA, we spent a wonderful night with my wife's cousin. Nothing like bumming shelter off relatives unseen for over thirty years. Also bummed a fast computer, wide screen monitor, and cable modem connection. Sweet.
/note from Cindy; Thanks to Lynny and Mike. See you in a few years. /

Drove straight through to Kentucky. Life takes us down strange paths. My "disaster prone" friend, a man of dangerous ways, the man with whom I was occasionally shot at, was now a Boy Scout Scoutmaster. Go figure. To make things even more interesting, I arrived in Kentucky just in time to go with the Boy Scouts on a three day, two night, camping trip. My Scoutmaster friend had me listed as "deep leadership" for the event. Turns out the other adults had bailed, and he needed a warm body to have enough leadership for the troop.

The kids and I hit it off. They loved stories of the their Scoutmaster's past. "Dangerous Dan" tales were a big hit. I hadn't had anything to do with the Scouts since the days when I was one. The rote memorization had stuck and I could mouth the words. Even the other adults accepted me. They thought anyone who came all the way from New Hampshire to camp with Kentucky Boy Scouts, couldn't be all bad.

Part of me wanted to teach the kids about the hypocrisy of the scouts. Part of me wanted to be that snake in the garden that tempts the innocent to taste the fruit of knowledge. But ya know, there will be time for that. Best to let the kids enjoy a few more years of unsullied values and clear moral paths. The grim realities of life will disillusion them soon enough. No sense hastening the process.

More snapshots: helped an Eagle Scout candidate with his project. Have hammer, will travel. Assisted my good friend in a security survey of an abandoned retreat for cloistered nuns. We discovered a number of ways into the compound. At one point in my life, I studied breaking and entering, professionally. Don't ask.

Our "closing campground syndrome" continued. We went to the Land Between the Lakes in western Kentucky. The first state park was open. That is, everything was open -except the campground. Disappointed, Cindy worked the cell phone and scribbled down directions to a supposedly still open campground.

Eight miles of poorly marked gravel road later -with darkness closing in, we pulled into Energy Lake National Park. Truly excellent place. We stayed an extra night. Nice camp site, right on the water. Thousands of migrating birds passing through. Temperatures rose into the 60's. We launched the canoe. The dog went nuts trying to chase beavers. Late at night, the sound of coyotes attacking a flock of geese made such a racket that I almost woke up, much to my poor wife's disgust. I can sleep through a lot.

Much refreshed, we headed west into Missouri. A campground disappeared. It was in the book. The markers were on the highway, but the place was gone. We stopped into one of the ubiquitous Wal-Mart's and restocked. Did you ever notice how those places can just suck the energy out of a person? We dragged our tired bodies across the street and spent the night at a Day's Inn. It wasn't anything special, but it was clean enough and took dogs.

Next day, we pulled into a small, nondescript campground that doesn't need to be mentioned by name. It was a cheap place to stop. Thunderstorms were on the move. We hastily set camp. Here's the deal, we have two tents, one big airy thing, and a small, 4 season winter tent for heavy weather. Hastily, we set the small tent. All around us were thunderstorms and some of the worst tornados to ever pound the Mid-West. We lucked out. Some light rain hit the tent, but that soon cleared. Cindy and I sat up late, watching the lightning in the distance. For us, it was a pleasant night. For others, just down the road, it was hell on earth. Location is everything.

Next day we moved on to Shell Knob on Table Rock Lake. A neighbor unlocked my in-law's cabin on the lake. We spent about a week at the lake in a partially complete cabin. The place was insulated, heated, and had some electric and plumbing. Pretty posh compared to some places we've stayed. Best yet, the views were fully functional. Hiking and canoeing was most excellent. Also caught up on some Quantum Muse work. This isn't really a vacation for me, it's a life style.

The down side was the state of Internet connections. The Shell Knob Library doesn't allow people to check their e-mail. What's with that? They did direct me across the street to the liquor store. How did they know? Turns out, the liquor store, Horsefeathers (I don't make up these names) had a dial-up connection that could be had for about $8/hour. Better than nothing. Loved the decor.

Also made a side trip to Eureka Springs Arkansas. My lovely wife and mother-in-law shopped. We did get to meet some interesting people. The nice artist lady at The Roxy directed us to a nifty little restaurant. We went to the Oasis for some authentic Ark-Mex food. This place is down a steep narrow stairway between buildings, literally, a hole in the wall. Great food.

The weather turning cool, we headed south to Texas, by way of western Arkansas. Part of Arkansas reminds me of parts of Vermont -the beautiful but impoverished part. Pulled into Texas without incident, in spite of those things I said about George Bush.

Once in Texas, we did some fishing on Big Jim's private gater pond. Big Jim was a perfect host, made us feel right at home and let us use his boat. My lovely wife caught the biggest bass of the day. She won't let me live that one down. Guess I just don't do enough fishing. Note to self, fish more.

We wet the canoe at Martin Dies State Park. Unfortunately, there was no one at the boat ramp to take our fee. Aw shucks! For a New Hampshire boy, canoeing in the south is like canoeing in the Jurassic. There are plants out of fantasy, birds I have only a vague idea what they are, and lilly pads bulked up on steroids. A copperhead snake disturbed me by tailing the canoe. I persuaded him to change course by shoveling him back with my canoe paddle. Some small alligators displayed agitation at our passing. Too bad for them.

The Woodville public library deserves special mention. The librarians are extra nice there, true Texas hospitality. They also have plenty of free public access computers, and here's the best part, with T1 connections! For a net head like myself, it was pure cocaine. The rush was incredible. I'd been away too long. I needed the fast connection just to plow through the mountain of e-mail. Isn't it nice that so many people are concerned about my sexual satisfaction and needs?

It rained the day we left Texas. Why aren't there postcards of Texas mud?

We planned to head to Florida as direct as possible. The plan fell apart as soon as we crossed the border in Mississippi. We pulled into the rest area. It was dark, the welcome center was closed. The first thing that caught my eye was the Lunar Landing Module, the same one the astronauts used in training. I gazed upon it in reverent awe. A huge explosion broke the silence, the sky glowed red and the earth trembled. The Stennis Space Center, just up the road, tested a rocket engine.
Suddenly, I became twelve years old again.

We camped at the first available spot and went back to tour the Space Center the next day. For me, it was like going to a shrine. This is where the big engines of the Saturn Five, were tested. They are still testing engines today, smaller engines, true, but capable of achieving orbit. Sad to say, we don't build those monsters that took us to the moon anymore. Sad to say, we don't go to the moon anymore. In some ways, the displays were too old. When I think that most of QM's readers have no memory of moon travel, a tear moistens my eye. Those were the days.

The cost of a day at the space center was a night in a roach motel. We left Mississippi way too late to check into a campground. I can't believe how early most of them in Florida close their gates. Sure, we are off-season, but give me a break. I'm even tempted to get up early in the morning to get a decent day's drive in . . naw, just kidding.

Thanksgiving day, we pulled into Alligator Point twenty minutes before closing . . at 2 p. m.. To give them credit, it was a holiday, and we were invited to a huge Thanksgiving dinner in the clubhouse. My lovely wife and I walked along the beach, dolphins played in the sea, and the sun ignited the sky in the west as it sank in the ocean. Things are turning our way.

Next: Manatees?

Raymond M. Coulombe
Editor/Quantum Muse

Read Part III here

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