Invasion of the English Majors
By Raymond M. Coulombe

Gene Wolfe used the term at Reader Con. It's not that he had anything against the proper use of the English language. What he mourned was the loss of science in the field of Science Fiction. As he put it, many of today's writers don't even have any idea how a flashlight works. I'm bothered myself when the science part of Science Fiction is often, missing, magic, or just plain wrong.

We've certainly moved away from the old nuts and bolts days. The "New Wave" of S/F, driven by the societal changes of the ‘60's and ‘70's changed everything. Now S/F is more likely to deal with the soft sciences rather than the hard sciences. Maybe that's just because English majors are more likely to take the occasional Psychology or Sociology course than the occasional Science course.

Of course, back in the real early days of S/F, it didn't have all that much science either. Just take one look at the old pulp covers and you will see what I mean. Back then, the proper vacuum suit for large breasted women was a brass bra. The very early writers, few of which had degrees of any sort, were more concerned with providing a pulse pounding tale than scientific accuracy. Only later did S/F writers with solid engineering and science backgrounds get into the business.

I think the big problem is that science is no longer in easy reach for the average person. In the 50's, every other garage had a hobby shop. People built things, not just lawn furniture, but engines, radios, and other electronic devices. Back then, the S/F story about building a spaceship in a garage just seemed like the ultimate do it yourself project.

The individual could do just about anything a large company could do. Often, they could do it better and cheaper -except for my Uncle Al who couldn't pound a nail once without hitting his thumb twice. People built their own scooters, planes, hovercrafts, and boats. (Al did know how to build a mixed drink) The computer revolution changed all that. (home projects, not the drinks) Never mind that the revolution started in garages, it's well beyond that point now. No one would even dream of introducing a new gadget without millions of dollars in backing and stock options. It takes a good sized team to do much of anything.

It doesn't help that the connection that most people have with technology is their computers. As far as most people are concerned, computers might as well be magic. Hell, I'm that way myself. Oh, I can change parts, add the occasional memory chip or drive, but I don't really understand what I'm doing. I'm just performing the ritual.

Now don't get me wrong. Sure, I've got an English degree or two, but I also do major surgery on my motorcycle's engine and electrical system, repair my cars, installed a house sized solar electric system and know how to blow stuff up. That is, I know something about explosives, not that I know so little about electricity that I blow stuff up. I heard the snide remark. Anyway, I know what the hell I'm talking about. I read about quantum mechanics, cosmology, biology and whatnot, but the days of true Renaissance men are over. No one can know it all, no matter how brilliant they are.

That doesn't mean that you shouldn't try. You would not believe how badly some people screw up the science in some submissions. Come on people, just because you can't know everything doesn't mean you can't know something. Do a little research, especially when it really matters. Get the basics right and I and the reader will more likely buy the wonders of the gee whiz technology you are trying to slip past our scrutiny.

Are the days of hard S/F over? No, I don't think so. It will be different. There are things happening out there in the real world that are about to turn our lives upside down. Back in the 19th century scientist thought they just about had everything wrapped up. Only a few minor problems remained. It turned out those few minor problems became the basis for things like atomic energy and quantum mechanics.

Today, some scientists believe there are only a few minor problems left that don't quite fit the mold. Stand back, the world of science is about to be blasted wide open again. Who knows? Maybe the new discoveries will be able to be duplicated in people's home workshops. Now wouldn't that be cool? Maybe there is room once again for the maverick inventor. At any rate, I think there is room for some great new tales to be told.

For those stories to be told, English majors will have to do a little reading beyond 17th century English poetry. Or maybe even wander into the occasional hard science class. Or maybe you engineering students can take a few English courses beyond technical writing. Someone has to tell the tales. Science Fiction has always been the literature of possibilities. Let's find out what those possibilities are and imagine how such a world will affect the human spirit. We are the tellers of the human story, let's do our homework and get back to work.

Let's not let the invasion of the English majors be the death of Science Fiction. Now if we could only work in some more of those large breasted women . . .

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