Welcome to Quantum Muse, a science fiction and fantasy ezine. Welcome to Quantum Muse, a science fiction and fantasy ezine. Your banner could be here! Find out how!
Digital Voodoo.
Posting the finest in science fiction, fantasy and alternative writing and artwork. For free. In our sober moments...
   Reader's login    |    Writer's login
Books by Quantum Muse contributors and friends.
A Felony of Birds

by
Harris Tobias
Piņatas From Space!: Crazy Games With Cards And Dice

by
Jeromy Henry
Peaceful Intent--Stories of human/Alien Interaction

by
Harris Tobias
The Wizard's House

by
Jeromy Henry


EVERYBODY KNOWS SPACE ALIENS ARE GREEN

by Andrew Dunn


EVERYBODY KNOWS SPACE ALIENS ARE GREEN

                       By: Eddie Beanbags
 
     “Everybody knows space aliens are green.” All the ones Joseph
had ever seen on the television in the living room were green. Why
wasn’t this one?
 
     Joseph played sick so mom wouldn’t send him to school that day. 
After dad headed out the door to work and mom waddled three doors down
to see Edna Shapiro, Joseph hefted him from upstairs to the basement.
 
     “Joseph,” mom called out after she’d made her way from the 
kitchen to the stairs, “have you been sick?”
 
     The sludge! Pink and white and bubbly and chunky. It smelled 
vaguely of breakfast and burnt rubber. Glops of it made a path from
Joseph’s bedroom closet to a nook down in the basement.  
 
     “Um it’s okay mom.” Joseph called out as the mass of tissue and
ooze writhed about underneath a shelf of jellies and preserves. It 
wasn’t okay though. Joseph knew that. The thing he’d found in the 
woods two days ago after the meteor slammed into the ground was the
size of a beach ball now. It was changing too. Almost the way the 
caterpillars in science class changed into butterflies except the
thing wasn’t in a cocoon.
 
     “Why are you in the basement?” Mom asked. “You’re sick. You 
need to be in bed.”
 
     “Um, I came down here,” Joseph’s eyes darted over the basement
looking for an answer, “to wash my clothes.”
 
     “Don’t be silly,” mom said as she started down the stairs, “get
back upstairs and back in bed. You’re sick.”
 
     The steps creaked one by one as mom made her way into the
basement. In a matter of seconds, if Joseph wasn’t careful, she’d be
face to face with...with...
 
     Well, what had been the size of a beachball was now almost 
oblong and erect, standing in a pool of its own slush. If it grew 
much taller it would smash through the shelf of jellies and preserves. 
And Joseph didn’t see anything anywhere in the basement he could
throw over the thing to hide it. 
 
     “What are you doing down here young man,” mom said as she came 
off the last step, “look at you!” 
 
     Joseph looked down at his shirt and pants. They were saturated 
in that pink and white goo the thing had shedded on the way to the 
basement. The goo it wasn’t shedding anymore. As best Joseph could 
tell from the corner of his eye, the thing was solidifying. Hardening. 
 
     “I was going to wash these.” Joseph answered. 
 
     “Why don’t you leave your filthy clothes down here,” mom said, 
“and I’ll wash them. Then you can go up to bed and rest.”
 
     Mom said it and that was that. Things were past the point of 
argument. Joseph started to ease out of his soiled clothing while
hoping mom didn’t notice the thing changing by the second underneath
her canned fruits. 
 
     “Oh my,” mom exclaimed, “I thought we’d lost this.”
 
     “Lost what mom?” Joseph asked.
 
     “Well,” she said as she started walking across the concrete
floor, “back when you were a baby your father picked this up at
a second-hand store.”
 
     Mom eyed the thing standing beneath her shelf of jellies and 
preserves. Light green. Looking a lot like a tiki doll complete
with legs and arms and a torso and a grin that hovered somewhere
between comical smirk and menacing grimace. 
 
     “Mom,” Joseph muttered. 
 
     “At first I thought this was,” Mom went on, “a little
unsightly. But your dad insisted.”
 
     “Mom,” Joseph tried again. 
 
     “So he put this statue out in the garden,” mom said on, “and 
while I worked on my tomatoes and roses you just loved him Joseph.”
 
     “Mom,” Joseph said. 
 
     “What is it Joseph?” Mom answered. 
 
     “Everybody knows space aliens are green,” Joseph ventured. 
 
     “Well,” mom furrowed her brow.
      
      
 
 
 
 
 
 
 


2017-08-11 14:38:12
dandrew72 - r.tornello, point taken. If I re-do this one I'll have to strengthen the ending or maybe rearrange it. Thank you for your comment - Andrew Dunn aka Eddie Beanbags

2017-08-07 11:51:35
r.tornello - I must be slow, but I'm missing the punch line here.


Read more stories by this author





Please leave comments on this story. Remember you are commenting on the story, not the Author. Love it, hate it, that's fine, but don't bring up the marital status of the author's parents.

Enter the code above to post comment:

comment:



ball Did you enjoy this story? Show your appreciation by tipping the author!

Enter your tip amount. ($1.00 minimum)

Then click on the tip cup!

We shamelessly accept handouts!

Give generously to the United Wa - uh, we mean Quantum Muse. It keeps Mike off the streets from scaring small children and the Web Goddess from spray painting Town Hall - again.
Enter your tip amount. Then click on the tip cup!


Books by Quantum Muse contributors and friends.
Transdimensional Blues

by
Raymond Coulombe
Peaceful Intent--Stories of human/Alien Interaction

by
Harris Tobias
The Tooth Fairy War and Other Tales

by
Jeromy Henry
Lockdown

by
Timothy O. Goyette


Quantum Museletter! Be the first to know when new stories and artwork have arrived.

Subscribe to Quantum Museletter by filling out the following form.



Enter the code above to verify entry:
Your email address:
Your name (optional):
 

Do you like this site?
Recommend it to a friend by pushing the button below!

| Home | Editorial | Submissions | News |
| Discussion Board | Recommended | Merchandise | About Us | Links | Webrings | Archives |

Gallantry Web Design Services