This is my fault. I can see that now. I can deal with it all now.
Last week my mind was distracted by depression and downturns and doom and gloom,
and I didn't see things clearly. It burdens my heart to look back on how I
ignored all the warning signs of danger and I let myself fall into the abyss.
When the cold fingers of death claw and grasp for your throat, it's hard to
believe that you don't see it coming and let it happen. But it happened. Let me
attempt to explain.
My name is John. I'm from Euless, Texas—some call it Useless, Texas and that
joke is getting a little tiresome. It looks like a boring, quiet town, but
crazy things can happen. My descent into this horror started when I had just
finished my 2nd year of college and ran out of bucks. I decided to take a year
off and work. I saw a blind ad on the Internet for a Payroll/Inventory Clerk. I
rationalized that such a job would give me good experience and be a stepping
stone to a better job.
When the jerk called me up and asked me for a job interview, I should have
immediately recognized the address. I drove to the bad part of town and found
myself at the office building next to Safe Self-Storage—a place where I have
had bad supernatural experiences. I’m pretty sure that the place is haunted.
Safe Self-Storage is a large storage facility on the south side of town. People
stash their excess belongings that clutter up their lives and their secret
personal treasures here. I stopped at the gas station across the street and I
delayed going in for 10 minutes. But l needed the money and like a moth to a
flame, I forced myself to pull into the parking lot next to the storage
The job was working at the central office of Safe Self-Storage. The reason the
ad was a blind ad was that Safe Storage has had a lot of bad publicity in the
media and they wanted people to show up for the interview. When the
receptionist led me to a conference room, I told myself that working at the
central office of Safe Self-Storage would not be like working at the storage
facility hellhole next door. As Joe Bob, the jerk boss explained the job, “All
the Safe Self-Storage chain locations around the country send the payrolls to
this Texas main office.” During the interview, I tried to look smart, as I was
doing something very stupid and getting sucked in. I must have appeared smart
as Joe Bob suddenly stood up, shook my hand and told me to start on Monday.
Monday morning when I arrived for my first day, Ethel, the middle aged
receptionist-secretary, showed me the actual office area where I would work. I
was stunned. The office—if you want to call it that—was a small room packed
with beat up cubicles. The bare walls were devoid of pictures. The only window
was a tiny window next to the door. My cube had a telephone that didn’t work
and a computer with no internet link. I was isolated from the outside world.
Next to me sat Carl. Carl seemed like the type of guy that was in his 40s, but
he acted like he was in his 60s.
Carl was a Clerk II and my mentor. I
figured if I worked for the place for 20 years, I could get his job. I grimly
decided that I had come this far so I decided to give it a try. At 9:30 I
started entering payrolls into the system. With no contact with the outside
world and no break from the monotony, I started getting depressed by 12:00.
Lunchtime came mercifully. I decided to escape and go to the local sub shop. On
the way out the door, I stopped to talk to Ethel. In the background, I
recognized the song on her radio as "Is that all there is?" I asked
her if every day was like this.
"Oh, the rest of the week isn't as exciting as Monday." she said.
I smiled a fake smile and ran to the parking lot. On the 3-minute drive to the
sub shop, I felt like a prisoner who escaped from solitary confinement. I was
terrified. This was my first real job. If all jobs were like this I would turn
into a vegetable by the time I was 30. Is this what one works hard in college
for? Is this what jobs are like? Is it worth it? Is this all there is?
Day dreaming on the possibilities of getting a job looking for buried treasure
in Hawaii, I ate my lunch and made my way back to the office. The afternoon was
even more boring. Like a prisoner in jail, I watched the clock counting off the
minutes to 5:00. When I left at 5:00, I told myself that things couldn't get
On the second day on the job, things got worse. Bobby, the jerk boss, told me
he had a task that would utilize my accounting skills and led me to a small
back room in the warehouse. The tasks were to count and inventory forms for the
office. I also had to inventory piles of obsolete computer equipment. I was
merely counting items. A 10 year old could do the job. The room was not
air-conditioned and the high steel walls and the unbearable Texas heat reminded
me of being inside an oven. I kept telling myself over and over that I was
doing something that would lead to a better job and a career.
At 11:00 I needed a break from the heat and boredom, so I stepped outside into
the alley between the office headquarters and the local Euless storage
facility. I leaned up against the brick wall and looked into the rows and rows
of rental rooms.
An unmarked truck pulled up to a back row storage room and two men unloaded
some strange wooden boxes. I noticed some faded markings on the boxes. I
recognized some of the markings as Voo Doo symbols. But the thing that was most
unusual about the boxes was how beat up and broken they were. When the men saw
me watching them, they yelled at me, “You didn’t see anything!” Then they
quickly hopped into their truck and drove off.
Thinking back, that had to be how the problem started. The broken up boxes must
have leaked the virus that was the source of the infection. Yes—I should have
done something that day. I should have done something to stop the disease from
spreading. I should have never gone back to Safe Self Storage. I should have
left town. I should have... I should have...
At the end of the third day, a strange thing happened. All of the lights went
out at the storage facility next door. There was no power outage so Joe Bob
told Carl to go next door to see if everything was all right. Carl didn't come
back. At the time, I was too distracted with adding a long string of payroll
numbers to care.
Only 20 minutes later, when I heard a creepy scratching at the door and walls,
did it occur to me that something was wrong—very, very wrong.
It was 4:45 and it was dark out, but I looked out the single office window and
was surprised to see a small group of slow moving monstrous--looking people
desperately clawing at the office door trying to get inside. Looking closer I
recognized that it was the day staff from the storage facility. From the
soulless eyes, the stiff-legged walk and the ragged clothing, I could tell what
they were. There could be no mistake. They were zombies and they were
relentlessly trying to break in and kill everyone in the office. Carl was part
of the group clawing at the front door. They had gotten to him and he was now a
zombie. I noticed he had the typical dull blank zombie-like look on his face
and thus actually seemed more alert and intelligent than usual.
I realized then what had happened. The broken wooden boxes next door had spread
the zombie virus to the storage facility workers. When Carl went next door, the
zombies got him.
I ran to the office door and started to block the doors with the cheap metal
desks. Two other frightened co-workers ran over and started to help
"What's going on? Are you guys nuts?" Joe Bob emerged from his
"There are zombies are outside!" I said. Joe Bob calmly strutted to
the only office window to survey the situation from a management perspective.
"The boss is the last one to realize a problem—typical." I thought.
Joe Bob dashed back from the window white as a sheet and immediately helped us
block the doors. I desperately picked up the phone at the reception area and
tried to get an outside line, but the lines were dead. I wondered how soon it
would be before we were all dead. The breaking sound of glass rang through the
office and dead zombie hands clawed and reached through the small window.
Ethel screamed as zombies overpowered us and pushed the door open. The zombies
outnumbered us and were pushing their way inside. We had only seconds to react
now and they would soon be clawing for our throats. Ethel and the two guys
retreated and ran for the conference room and started to barricade the door. I
turned and ran to the back of the office. I heard the shriek of terror behind
me. I turned around and saw zombies surround Joe Bob and drag him to the
Running past my beat up cubicle, I tried to think of a way out. I glanced at
the clock on the wall. The clock read 5:10.
"Looks like I have to stay after 5:00 and work with some zombies," I
I ran around the corner. On a hunch, I hid in Joe Bob's office. As I ducked behind
his desk, I noticed the screen on Joe Bob's computer. It was the computer
solitaire game. Apparently what the boss feverishly worked on all day was
merely playing solitaire.
I heard screaming from the conference
room and realized that the zombies had finally crawled their way into the
conference room and got the remaining office staff. I wondered if changing into
a zombie it was really that much of a change to the office staff. They all were
almost zombies anyway from working at this dump. But I was young and I might
have a future. I wanted to escape and the zombies were blocking the only way
A crazy thought came to me. There was a cemetery near Safe Self-Storage.
Everyone in the office and the staff from the storage facility had now been
turned into zombies. If the zombie virus spread to the cemetery, hundreds of
zombies would rise from the dead and attack the town. It was all up to me to
stop the monsters and save my hometown and perhaps the entire state.
Suddenly I got an idea. Like most offices, our place had a cheap, fake ceiling.
I stood on Joe Bob's desk and boosted myself through the ceiling. Balancing
myself on the dusty supports, I desperately looked for a way out.
I felt my way through the dark and finally found the manhole hatch to the roof.
The latches were all rusted as no one had ever used this thing. But I managed
to pop the manhole open and shinnied up to the roof. I stood up and looked over
the area. Looking across the street, I saw something that could solve the
I found the fire escape on the side of the building and quickly climbed down to
Some zombies saw me on the ground and tried to come after me but I could easily
"Why do zombies always move so slowly?" I thought. No matter. I knew
what to do. I had a plan.
I ran across the street. There was a gasoline truck that was going to refill
the gas station's underground tanks. The fat middle-aged driver was inside the
gas station talking and trying to impress the young chick that was behind the
counter. The gasoline truck was still running—perfect.
I turned the latch in the back of the truck and the gas started to flow out.
Hopping into the driver's seat, I tromped on the gas and headed back to Safe
Self Storage. There were two zombies directly blocking my path at the chain
link fence at the entrance. Their bodies made a sickening thud as I ran both of
them down. I drove the truck up and down each row of the storage facility.
There was gasoline everywhere. I finally crashed the truck into the warehouse
door that held all the paper forms.
"Perfect," I thought.
Running back through the entrance fence, I threw the match on the trail of
gasoline. I ducked as the entire Safe Self-Storage went up in a deafening
explosion. Something that looked like a mushroom cloud rose into the night sky.
The initial blast faded to steady purifying flames. The rows and rows of
storage rooms full of dark secrets, the office headquarters building full of
endless piles of paper, and the alleys were all in flames. I ran to the parking
lot. On the other side of the fence, zombies were stomping around in flames.
They moaned and mindlessly clawed at the fence. I tried not to listen to the
sounds of the dead as they burned to a crisp, but I knew that horrible sound
would haunt me for the rest of my life. The blackened zombies eventually fell
to the ground and stopped moving.
As the fire lit up the night sky and I heard sirens in the distance, I turned
to leave. From the size of this inferno, I knew that this would be a total loss
for Safe Self-Storage. They would never rebuild this hellhole. As fire purifies
things, I figured my long nightmare with Safe Self-storage was finally over.
I limped to my beat up Ford and squealed the tires on the way out of the
parking lot. I had only $20 in my pocket and I had no idea of where I was
going—Mexico, New Mexico, New Orleans—as long as it was far away from Texas and
Safe Self-Storage. The realization that I would never see un-Safe Self-Storage
again seemed like a huge exorcism to my life and knowing all my monster
problems where forever behind me was a deep comfort to my soul. I pulled onto
the dark main highway and pushed the gas pedal way down. The tired little
engine protested and semi-bald tires whined, as the old car hit 70 mph.
I smiled and looked far down the lonely road. In the dead of the night, I tried
to find the point in the night where the highway meets the horizon. I hoped
that that would be the place where I could see a fresh new life in the