Suron tapped the console
impatiently. It was bad enough having to tutor 75 idiots in this
jerkwater part of the galaxy for no hope of reward or recognition, but these
particular young minds were spread out over half a light year on weather
stations, research stations, agricultural stations and Krom knew what
else. Not a single city within a month's travel, not even a single
habitable planet for Krom's sake.
How did a teacher of his superb training and intellect wind up on this decrepit
station so far from the gleaming centers of commerce and art? He who was third
in his class at the academy and could have had an appointment at the great
university on Helms. It was all politics. "Politics!" Suron
spat out the word and fetched the console a resounding smack.
One by one the console's lights winked off as the far flung students submitted
their assignments, communicated with each other and signed off after the day's
lessons. Seventy five little lights connected him to seventy five little
minds. Some bright, some hopelessly dull; all of them reluctant to work
but eager to win his praise. He demanded nothing less than perfection from
them. This may be the despised ass end of the known universe but by Krom
it will have seventy five well spoken and highly literate young minds. One
light stubbornly remained. A young third former named Veech who lived on a
small mining station at the very limit of The People's expansion.
Keying the switch with contempt Suron spoke to the boy, "Yes, Veech,
why do you tarry?" Static and the garbled sounds of voices and commotion
came over the speaker. Suron turned to the small screen. A picture of the
floor or perhaps a wall. Finally a panting and dishevelled Veech.
"Professor! Thank Krom! Help! Help us please. Explosion.
People hurt. I don't know what to do."
"My dear young man," snapped Suron, "You will address me in the
correct manner. You will ask permission to speak. And then you will speak
clearly and in whole sentences as I have instructed. You will state your
case in precise declarative sentences without emotion. In fact, I would
prefer to read a written report on your problem which might help your flagging
grade in composition. I will expect your report before class
tomorrow. That is all." So saying, Suron flicked the switch cutting
off communication with the horrified Veech.
Several hours later this report came through on the data transfer machine:
Dear honored professor,
I do not have much time. Several explosions and fire
have killed everyone but me. The station is in ruins. Only this
channel of communication remains. I have no food and very little
air. All life support systems are distroyed and there are no escape pods
in this part of the station. I do not think I can last more than a few
days before I slowly die of thirst or cold or asphixiation. I might be better
to simply throw open the airlock and end all suffering. I hope you
find this composition to your liking.
Your most respectful pupil,
Sighing deeply and tut tutting to himself Suron took the red pen from his
pocket and began to circle the obvious grammatical and syntactical errors in
2012-03-17 18:49:45 Now that was funny! 2012-03-14 05:43:15 Very funny - the author is obviously acquainted with academia. Well written, straight to the point! Now hang up the phone and save that survivor.