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Selfie Selfie The alien looked nothing like she expected. She’d seen enough science fiction movies to know one when she saw one. She thought they would look vaguely human at the very least. Okay, maybe not movie star human but this pitiful blob of jelly oozing around her kitchen was truly revolting. She took a few photos of it and, summoning her courage, scraped it into her dustpan and dumped it into the kitchen sink. There it lay phlegm-like and inanimate. Still, she took a photo of it and posted it to her FaceBook wall with the caption, “jelly anyone?” Then she turned out the kitchen light and went to check her email. She expected at least a few of her 643 friends would find it amusing and reply with either a text, a thumbs up or a smiley face emoticon. A few hours later she noticed that the blob in the sink was actually doing something. It was heaving and growing into a bigger and taller blob. At first she was frightened. She turned on the sink’s taps in an attempt to flush the thing down the drain. The warm water only seemed to animate it. When the water grew scalding,the thing grew a gooey pseudopod that reached out and shut the water off. That’s when she realized that she might be dealing with something intelligent and not some run of the mill sewer slime. She’d seen enough horror movies to know how monsters were supposed to act and this wasn’t it. She stood and watched as the slimy mound grew and slowly acquired a shape. It transformed from a puddle at the bottom of her sink into a towering, transparent column about six feet high. Gradually it took on a vaguely human form with an ill defined head, a torso two arms and two legs. Standing in the sink the alien was forced to keep it’s head at an awkward angle. It was too tall to stand comfortably in the sink. She felt sorry for it and set her step ladder against the sink so it could climb down if it had the wit to understand the offer. The creature seemed to understand perfectly. It climbed out of the sink and stood before her on the kitchen floor. The alien stood there for some time growing more and more human. She took another selfie. She tagged this one “we’re going out for drinks later” and sent it up to her 137 Twitter followers. Slowly the creature took on more and more detail—the hands grew fingers, the feet grew toes. A well endowed male member grew in the crotch area. It was still quite translucent but its shape and size caught her attention immediately. She took a few more photos and uploaded a short video to her blog as the creature gained in color and solidity. Growing more and more human-like all the time, the creature took on a decidedly bluish tint. It had no hair anywhere but did have perfect teeth and, in her opinion, a sexy smile. Little by little it grew more and more handsome, somehow becoming more like the man of her dreams. How strange was that? Except for his blue skin, he was a perfectly formed specimen. She was sorry now that she had posted the earlier blob pictures. Maybe there was still time to delete them. The alien was holding out its hand to her now. Shyly she took it embarrassed by his nakedness and his movie star perfection. She excused herself and ran to her closet returning with a t-shirt and a pair of shorts belonging to her former boyfriend. The alien but on the clothes. Both garments barely fitting over his well toned body. Gently he took the phone from her hand, put his arm around her, they both smiled as her new boyfriend snapped a selfie.
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