A Felony of Birds by Harris Tobias	The Greer Agency by Harris Tobias	Assisted by Harris Tobias	Hold The Anchovies by Harris Tobias
Alien Fruit by Harris Tobias	Peaceful Intent--Stories of human/Alien Interaction by Harris Tobias	CHRONON--Time Travel by Harris Tobias	The Stang by Harris Tobias

Paranoia

by Harris Tobias

PARANOIA

Did I tell you we all wear aluminum foil hats? It looks silly I know but at least they can’t read your thoughts. They can read your mind you know? Our neighbor was abducted, sucked her right up. Took her away. If they have your coordinates they come in through the gas lines or the power grid and grab you when you’re sleeping. They can go through wires too. It's best to keep your brainwaves private. Why should Uncle Sam have access to your thoughts as well as everything else. You know what else they do? They put tiny locator chips in your food. They can trace your turds. Find you if you shit in the woods, say you were a fugitive or something, they can still find you. Then there’s the water. Don’t get me started on the water. You know what they put in the water? Flouride, that’s what. Flouride’s a deadly poison. Go look it up, I did. We could all be living 125 years if we didn’t drink the water. And stay off the cell phones. You know what happens to people who live near cell phone towers? They slowly disappear. Bit by bit the microwaves steal pieces of their bodies until there’s nothing left but a belt buckle and a cell phone. Aliens? Oh yeah. They’re everywhere. Don’t get me started.

Read more stories by this author

A Felony of Birds by Harris Tobias	The Greer Agency by Harris Tobias	Assisted by Harris Tobias	Hold The Anchovies by Harris Tobias
Alien Fruit by Harris Tobias	Peaceful Intent--Stories of human/Alien Interaction by Harris Tobias	CHRONON--Time Travel by Harris Tobias	The Stang by Harris Tobias

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