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The Element Of Ritual From the NY Times May 4, 2010 ...one idea would be to deliberately increase the
element of formal ritual in medicine. Studies of “alternative” therapies show
that strong placebo effects can be induced by ritual. Indeed, in mainstream
medicine, surgery is the treatment most surrounded by ritual; perhaps this is
one reason it appears to be the most powerful placebo. *
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* * Nurse Smithers straightened Dr. Baumgartner’s
feathered head dress. It had slipped down below the caduceus so carefully
painted on his forehead by the medical ritual staff. The MR (Medical Ritual)
dressing room looked more like the backstage at a Broadway show— racks of
costumes, shelves piled high with musical instruments, make up artists and hair
stylists scurrying about helping physicians prepare their illusions. It was a
far cry from the old days before doctors finally understood what healing was
all about—illusion. It was illusions that kept the patient’s belief system
functioning and if the patient really believed, they were practically cured. Ritual was Placebo General’s way of maximizing the
curative powers locked away in each patient’s own belief system. Modern
medicine was all about placebos much to the chagrin of big pharma. There was
precious little money to be made from a science fiction set and a shot of salt
water. These days medical treatment was more show than substance. If the
patient believed he was being cured, his mind took care of the rest. His
attending physician, Dr. Baumgartner, knew that the contents of the syringe he
was holding was not nearly as important to the patient’s recovery than the
ritual that preceded it. In this case, the patient, Mr. Louis Silverblank, a
portly 60 year old from Nurse Smithers, herself dressed in a flowing muumuu
with a colorful tropical theme and a hat filled with colorful fruits, began a
rhythmic beating on a small drum hung around her neck. Dr. Baumgartner accentuated
her rhythm with staccato shakes of a rattle made from a tortoise shell.
Together they entered Silverblank’s room in a shuffling Samba, chanting in a
language no one present understood. A semi conscious Silverblank seemed
impressed by the ceremony and felt much improved just watching the medicos
working so hard to stimulate his trust. Nodding his head to the rhythm he gave
nurse Smithers a shy smile. His smile increased as Dr. Baumgartner raised the
syringe high in the air and called upon the mystic forces of healing to flow
into it. Nurse Smithers beat a furious crescendo on the drum. Dr. Baumgartner
turned around three times, produced a puff of smoke from his palms and injected
the saline solution into Silverblank’s enormous rump. Mr. Silverblank heaved a
blissful sigh and lapsed back into sleep. Dr. Baumgartner and Nurse Smithers turned and left
the sleeping Silverblank’s room and hurried down the corridor to the MR ready
room. They had to change out of their feathers and beads into a futuristic
costume consisting entirely of chrome and plastic prosthetics. Nurse Smithers
donned an android mask while Dr. Baumgartner slipped into a breastplate filled
with flashing lights and gauges and hurried off to operating theater 4, the
Doctor From Tomorrow set. Mrs. Hackman was having her gall bladder removed, or
at least thought she was. 2011-09-05 07:36:12 Now that was funny as hell! Read more stories by this author      Did you enjoy this story? Show your appreciation by tipping the author!
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