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Books by Quantum Muse contributors and friends.

Harris Tobias
The Tooth Fairy War and Other Tales

Jeromy Henry
A Fisherman's Guide to Bottomdwellers

Michele Dutcher
Louisville's Silent Guardians

Michele Dutcher

Slight Chance of Thunderstorms


Jessica Baumgartner

“Monday will be partly cloudy with a slight chance of thunderstorms.”

‘How did I get here?’ I often wonder when going through this charade day after day. You’d think that I would be spending my time balancing the jet streams and controlling tsunamis like in the good old days, but people have changed; thus I have changed.

I was once worshiped by many, who offered up lives, food, and belongings to honor me. That was back when humans were fewer and much slower to travel. Funny how more believed in me then than now, when they have grown to cover nearly the entire planet.

For a while I was forgotten altogether and fell into a deep sleep. My kind are not “living” but then again we are not dead either, that’s not how we manifest. It was not until some strange men explored the ruins of my most faithful city that I awoke. Those men were what I later learned termed “archaeologists” who published their findings.  

Since I felt no need to haunt one of my old homes or sit around in a museum attached to the objects that are linked to my essence, I decided to create a life for myself. I wanted to carry out my purpose. Unfortunately, once forgotten, “the powers that be” move on; so I was no longer able to completely fuse myself with the weather patterns.

There I was, powers and all, but unable to use them the way that I had instinctively done in all of my existence. The only thing I could do was to assimilate into human culture. I got a job as a weather girl because I’m never wrong when it comes to that area of expertise.

It was my roommate’s idea.

She’s this really quirky girl who works at the coffee shop I found myself loitering around. Apparently that’s just how coffee shops work. People are drawn there when they are between jobs, schools, relationships. Sure I’m no human but I had to figure out what to do next.

“Are you okay?” a friendly sounding voice asked as I sat one day.

“Always, just a bit…” I looked up to see a sweet faced lady expressing her concern.

“Lost?” she finished my sentence.

Before I knew it this well meaning woman was preaching some new found religion to me. I admired her faith but she was speaking as if she knew me and was completely inaccurate in her assumptions. Back in my Goddess days I would’ve been the one telling her what to think but I was not as powerful as I once was.

Thankfully the pale young lady who worked the register seemed to sense my unease and came over to us. “Oh Janet I’m so glad to see you, we missed you at temple Saturday.”

“What?” I asked as she addressed me.

The good natured Christian lady smiled at the worker. “We were just discussing this girl’s road to salvation.”

The cashier grinned in return. “And I appreciate that, but this is a place of business, not an outreach program. Thank you for trying to help but I think you’re making my friend uncomfortable.”

Once the customer left I thanked my new friend and we got to talking. She thought that I was a run-away and needed a place to crash, so I just went with it. After a few days I was working with her as a barista to pull my own weight, which is not as cool as it sounds. You get the early morning fitness nuts wanting their caffeine rush and your shift goes downhill from there. But I was making a life for myself, something that I’d never done.

Everyday my roommate was astounded by the accuracy of my weather predictions. They really did come in handy. “You might not want to wear those shoes today.” I’d give her tips to help out, it was the least I could do.

“Why, there’s like a 0% chance of rain today?”

“Trust me, okay?” I tried.

She of course didn’t listen, and those ridiculous things that cost her a month’s worth of savings were destroyed. 

After that she never doubted me. One day she finally asked, “How do you keep doing that?”

“I can control the weather with my powers, not as well as when I was a part of it but I still have my ways.”

She found this hilarious and I learned to just start answering, “I just have a feeling.”

We had been living together for a few months when one shift was just really hard on me. My roommate jumped up and shrieked “I’ve got it! We’re gonna get you the perfect job.”

“What’s that?” I asked with a smirk.

“Weather girl!”

“A weather girl? You mean one of those tan ladies who confuse people by misrepresenting weather patterns?”

She scrunched up her face for a moment. “No! I mean yes. But you’re always right so you can’t go wrong.”

“What?” I was confused as to how this would happen.

“Just trust me. You’re going to predict the next day’s weather and I’ll record it and upload the video to Youtube everyday at 5 o’clock. When you’re spot on long enough it’s bound to get some notice.”

All the while she talked about it I was thinking, “This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. How could she possibly believe it’s gonna work?” But, she was right. My videos blew up after a few weeks and the hits skyrocketed. I was asked to take over for Al Rocker when he retired from Good Morning America, and here I am.

Last week I stopped a huge hurricane from wiping out all of Pensacola, but no one would care about that even if they knew.I will never understand people’s love of watching weather predictions, reading weather predictions, googling weather predictions, and talking about them incessantly. What a way to spend your time. But what do I know, I’m just a weather girl right?    

Read more stories by this author

2014-08-02 07:22:15
micheledutcher - R.S. Leergaard wrote: Fun story that hits rather near to few short stories I wrote many years ago. I'm rather fond of fun, easy-going gods and goddesses as opposed to angry, vengeful ones.

2014-08-02 07:19:38
micheledutcher - sidewinder4 wrote: It’s an interesting concept that doesn’t wear out in the course of the tale. It lends itself well to illustration which could earn it a place more easily.

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